As A Soul
by hawthorners
Summary: What if you lost everything you were living for? One shot.


As A Soul

* * *

Love never dies.

* * *

It would begin with the end. I was warned.

At first, all I remember are beautiful, golden eyes with deep black pupils rimmed with silver.

And then it hit me, and nothing could have prepared me for this.

_Men and women dressed in black surrounded us. Dozens of them. Seekers. They didn't draw out their guns yet, but instead tried to persuade us not to flee. _

_ Shouts erupted around us. Jared and Melanie. They tried to fight there way to the van. _

_ Guns fired, people screamed. My family was being killed. Jamie went down, and Melanie screamed. Poor, innocent Jamie shot right through the heart. And they say humans are violent. _

_ A horrible, blood curdling scream came from someone beside me._

_ I looked down at Wanda, to see her mouth hanging open and her free hand clutching her stomach. My face went white and my heart sped up. My Wanderer._

_ "No, no. You're a soul, you said they wouldn't discard you. Wanda, no. You can't die, Wanda, no." My voice filled the silence with denial, but I don't remember opening my mouth._

_ "Ian, I love you, Ian. My partner. Ian." My name being the last breath to leave her lips, she crumpled to the ground._

_ "No," it started out as a whisper. "No," it turned to a growl, ripping from my throat. "No," it now came as a scream. I drop to the ground beside her._

_ You said we had forever. You promised you would stay with me, Wanda. You promised._

_ I have just enough time to see Melanie shot in the leg and Jared's face turn white before they spray something into my face. And I do nothing to fight back._

I don't remember crying, but my face is wet with tears. Wanda, he had a connection with her. A soul. A human and a soul, together.

His memories- now, mine- flood my thoughts. I remember Wanda leaving him, trying to give back someone. Her host? I remind myself- or Ian's memories do- that Melanie, Wanda's host, was still present in her thoughts.

I remember kissing Wanda in both hosts, I remember the shivers up and down my spine when her hands were on me. I remember the way her face lit up when I saw her. I remember every single night we would fall asleep in each other's arms.

I remember everything, and it send prickles of pain into my chest. A way humans describe it is a broken heart. I can see why, now.

Sadness rushes to my heart when I remember that Wanda had died when the Seekers came for us- for _them_. They took his Wanda- was it _my _Wanda now? I suppose so, everything became mine when I was inserted into this host.

_No, she's mine. My partner. Not yours. Mine. She'll always be mine. Forever._

What? Were those my thoughts? They couldn't be, they were too... aggressive. Angered.

Maybe my host was still present in my mind, too? I remembered that Wanda's host was violent and could overwhelm her, she could take over her body sometimes, too.

My host just sounded tired.

Maybe because they took our Wanda.

_My Wanda. Not yours._ He growled with little effort.

_Tired because they killed your Wanda, then, _I said back, politely as we souls were expected to.

_ They took my Wanda. Took her. _I remembered that Wanda shut out Melanie for a couple of days. I sensed he wanted to be shut out, too. He wanted to die and find his Wanda. I feel his ache for her, too. It makes me feel bad for him. I was a comforter in my past lives. His uneasiness made me understand he didn't want my sympathy.

_ I'm sorry, I don't know how to shut you out. I don't know how to help you find your Wanda, _I explain. We both remember that Wanda said souls don't believe in an afterlife. His grief shows through me. His must have loved her a lot.

_I did._ He mutters.

_Did? _

_I do._ I have flashbacks of me meeting Wanda, when her only name was "it", strangling her, dropping her on the cave floor.

Humans are violent.

Pain pinches my stomach from guilt, he feels bad about that.

I remember feeling guilty every time I saw the black marks on her neck. We both wince at the thought of Wanda.

_What are you feeling bad for? You didn't know her, _his half attempt at an argument only leads me to be more sympathetic towards him.

I remembered that Melanie led Wanda to the caves where Jared and Jamie were, that's how Wanda and I met.

Another Soul dressed in black enters the room. "Hello," I smile.

"Hello, I'm a Seeker, I'm going to get right down to the point," Her eyes flashes with lust. "I need you to gather all the information you can, please."

A weak headache formed in the back of my mind. "Okay," I squinted at her name tag, "Seeker Falling Through the Stars, I'm Green Leaves Falling From the Sky, from the Planet of the Flowers. My host's name is Ian O'Shea. He was with a large band of humans with two rebel souls. They lived in underground caves in Arizona. One Soul was shot and killed when the Souls took ahold of things. The other, I don't know." My light headache grew stronger.

"It's a shame that we lost another Soul. Thank you, Green Leaves Falling From the Sky. What were the Souls names?" She asks me, content she got some information.

"Wanda, short for Wanderer, was killed. She has been a rebel for quite some time. She had a relationship with my host," I explain.

"A relationship?" She asks surprised.

"Yes, they were... They were partners." She pursed her lips and nodded her head. I sat with my mouth open for a few moments.

"You grieve for Wanderer?" She questions, craving the knowledge.

"Yes," my voice cracks. "The other's was Sunlight Passing Through the Ice, or Sunny. She had a relationship with Kyle O'Shea, Ian's brother. I don't know where they are now."

_Where are they now? _He asks. The only way I can describe is it tired. Tired of this fight now that Wanda was taken.

"Where are they now? The others. Where did they all go?" I ask sounding desperate. I, too, worry about them. They were close to Ian, and his memories make them close to me.

We both remember that Wanda loved Jamie. Wanda's the only one keeping him from loathing me, overwhelming me. She has made him understand.

"We have two other hosts. Two females. They're just waking up, the hosts names were Sharon and Trudy. We suspect they ran off North, to the mountains. Don't worry, we'll catch the Humans. Everything will be fine in a couple of days."

Sharon and Trudy. They were females that also lived in the caves.

_At least it wasn't Lily, _I subconsciously think.

Ian feels relieved which makes my headache go away.

"Thank you, Clear Waters." I nod my head.

* * *

It comes in flashes, memories of Wanda. I wake up at night my face plastered with tears from the dreams.

I remember his grief when Wanderer was set on giving Melanie back. He sat with her for days when they went to get another host for her.

* * *

It doesn't get better, I mourn for her as if her death was yesterday.

* * *

Ian stirs at the sound of her name. His sadness shows through me at times. I choke on her words and my eyes swell with tears while I'm in the middle of a conversation.

* * *

Life as a Soul went on.

* * *

This was really difficult to write, but I needed to improve my writing skills so this was the perfect way to.

Reviews and comments are really appreciated, I like hearing your guy's opinion.

Thank you for reading :)

Also, this is a one shot. A drabble of sorts. I'm really sorry to disappoint you guys, but I don't think I'll be writing much more than these. I'm sorry, and I really do love hearing you guys would love for me to add on to them.


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